Sunday, 25 March 2007

Blogging: What Am I Doing?

My wife of 16 years thinks that I am opiniated, arrogant, selfish and is fed up listening to my various rants on the the news of the day. She blogs, , and Take a look you’ll soon get the gist. What do I blog for? To get things off my chest, to make a difference or just for my ego? The desperation I have for a comment is overwhelming, thanks to Andrew Eglington at Desperate Curiosity for showing an interest but it hasn’t satisfied my sudden urge for recognition. I need to know someone is listening and worse than that I need to know that people think my ramblings are of some interest.
How do I get someone to read my blog ? How do I know how many people are out there? What the fuck have I started? If you happen to stumble across me, please let me know your there. This is starting to hurt and I only started out of pity for the missus. God help me for I do not know what it is that I am doing.
Got to stop now need to see if anyones noticed me yet.

Friday, 23 March 2007

Apathy...........if i can be bothered.

At the age of 19 in 1941 my dad set sail for Singapore to fight the Japanese because he had to. After a pathetic British surrender (the officers not the men) 4 years later he was released alive, beaten but not broken and went on to live a full and I think happy life until he died at 71. He did what he did like millions of others because he was bothered, because he cared, because the freedom of our country mattered enough to put your life on the line. Was he a hero? I think so because he was my dad, but I doubt he thought he was a hero because to him it had to be done, it mattered, he cared.

Can you imagine asking a 19 year old now with no interest in army life, "Your country needs you". The reply might be something like "Yeah later, I'm watching the Eastenders omnibus". What has happened in 66 years, in less than a lifetime, people don't care. "What can I do?" has become the mantra we all just stand back and let shit happen.

This hurts but here goes; the French care, if the French Government want change they have to fight for it, national strikes, borders blocked, rioting whatever it takes to say "Non" they give a shit, they will not be walked all over. How is it they learnt a lesson? Immigration, the French just open up Calais to anyone and over they come in their millions. My old mans generation gave everything to keep Britain British, in under 70 years we've caved in to a multinational army without a leader as cunning and vicious as Hitler. Nobody cares, "theres a Diamonique special on QVC I'll worry about mass, unrestricted immigration later." This isn't a racist rant it's just that we're a little island that's running out of room and mainland Europe is dumping on us and they can't believe they're getting away with it. I feel I have to say that I do not blame one single immigrant, in their shoes I would walk the same path. We need not have a conscience on that score it's just that I wish we cared.

Our politcal system is pointless, no-one really cares who runs the country, no-one really cares what they do as long as the next series of Big Brother is commissioned. There is no right wing, left wing, middle ground it is all one fuzzy mess with no clear outlines and no-one cares. More people voted for Will Young than Tony Blair. The list is endless, The Olympics, congestion charging, fuel tax (don't start me on fuel tax), immigration, crime, the NHS, education, Iraq, Iran (please god someone care about Iran before it's too late).

I'm not asking for revolution but for fucks sake please wake up and start caring. Write to your MP, organise a rally, ask questions, shake the politicians from their lethargy, vote at the next election, question why Gordon Brown can be PM when no-one has ever voted for him. I can't help thinking of that great 70's kids show "Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead". Rattle some cages, no Lauren you're not bovvered but I am. Who wants to join me?

"Apathty, apathy they've all got it apathy!" (with apologies to Kenneth Williams)

Thursday, 22 March 2007

Tony Blairs Legacy: Volume 1 "The Olympics"

Imagine if you will the following scenario. You've secured your next job but theres still a chance of nailing that big order, the one all your colleagues have been chasing. You know that when you you announce that you're leaving that slimey Scot who slags you off behind your back will ooze his way into your chair. So lets leave a time bomb ticking, you know that order will bring in half a million quid, you also know it will end up costing 5 million quid, but you'll be long gone, secure in the knowledge that you got the glory but left a mess. A great big steaming pile of shit for your slimey Scottish freind to clear up.

Welcome to the 2012 Olympics, perhaps the biggest pile of shit ever left for a colleague to clear up. (Ok I accept that maybe Chamberlain left Churchill a bigger steaming German turd to sort out but you get my point). You know that Tony Blair has only ever thought of Tony Blair but on this occasion I genuinely believe that he had Gordon uppermost in his thinking. "Right everything is fucked up, things haven't only got better, but Gordon deserves something special. I know get Lord Seb on the phone I've got a plan" And so the Olympic bid swung into action, by some creative accounting, a suitable slum that needed "regenerating", a few sporting icons blinded by Balir bullshit and the Spanish Olympic commitee chairman mistaking London for Paris and the bid was won.

We all sucked air through our teeth at £ 4 billion but it was the Olympics, the good old East End would have a fresh start, it was a chance for British kids to succeed and we beat the fucking French. (Sound of squealing breaks at this point).................

Cost: We now stand at £ 15 billion and rising, how can a two week sports event cost £ 15 billion. Where is the money coming from? Lottery, congestion charging, taxes, prostitution, the NHS, defence? 15 fucking billion pounds, have that Gordon ! You'd best start shovelling boy because it will end up nearer £ 30 billion, remember you heard it here first. The contractors will smell the panic as 2012 approaches and costs will spiral out of control. Gordon had better find an enormous khasi to flush this titanic sized floater away.

The East End: Yes it needed redevelopment but did it need the Olympics? No it did not, what happens when the party leaves town. It will be he biggest hangover of all time. Just look at Atlanta, Athens, Seoul, Moscow, Los Angeles they all took years to recover if they ever have. The only Olympic City to get away with it was Barcelona. Walthamstow is not Barcelona, there will not be endless tourists to visit when the last gold medal is handed out. There's no Gaudi Cathedral in Leyton to bring in the punters, no Los Ramblers for the stag / hen weekenders and no Mediterranean Olympic harbour to attract the real money. Sorry Gordon there's a great big skidmark that will not wash off however hard you scrub.

Give the kids a chance: What chance? What kids? Not kids that are educated in Blairs comprehensives, no competitive sport, playing fields sold off for immigrant housing, no after school activities, the nanny state, coaches scared of coaching because of paedophile paranoia. You wanker Blair you spend 10 years crucifying sport in this country then win the fucking Olympics AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

The Medal table: China 150 gold, USA 100 gold, Germany 50 gold, UK 1 gold won by a Somalian on a dodgy passport in the fucking 5 kilometre walk.

Two weeksof sport, 30 billion pounds, years of recovery, years of debt, a fucking olympic village in Walford. The most imaginative Eastenders writer couldn't make it up. Surely Tony you could have just resigned and had dump in your office before you left for Gordon to find. This is almost criminal in it's disregard of the consequences. Failing that you could have just sacked the Scottish Nationalist prick and saved us all the hassle.

Yours in sport you arsehole.

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Cristiano Ronaldo: You're All Just Jealous!

Christiano Ronaldo, without doubt the greatest footballer of all time. No I do not support the Mancs, Brentford man and boy. Everyone wants him in their team, supporters, managers, players. Every club, TV station wants him to perform for them. He makes George Best look pedestrian, he is quicker than Maradonna with more skills, Zidane could never catch him never mind head butt him. Beckham, don't start me on Beckham a one footed mannequin, who is not Man Utds greatest no. 7. Yes everone loves him until.......... he skins your full back for the umpteempth time but this time more by luck than judgement a desperate lunge catches his heel and Cristiano tumbles to the ground, PENALTY. Of course it's a fucking penalty every time its a penalty. You and the rest of your team are not good enough, be grateful you played against him it guarentees life long fame. Pictures of this genius will be shown on televisons, you tube, everywhere for ever.

I am sick and tired of beaten defenders, and managers saying "He's very good at what he does" implying that he cheats better than anyone else. Bollocks, get over it if you chase this boy away to Spain the Premier League will take years to get over it. Grow up, if he takes the piss work harder and get better yourself don't try and bring him down to your level go away and improve. Yes that's you George Boeteng.

If we're lucky we've got another 10 years of footballing genius to witness, god I wish he was English but every ounce of flair would have been coached out of him before he was 16. Thats why we end up with Lampard, Gerrard, Beckham etc. The golden generation? They're barely tin.


Tuesday, 20 March 2007

E-Bay.... The Great Rock and Roll Swindle!!

"I am an antichrist and I am an anarchist" Who would have thought that 30 years on from this iconic line that corporate America would have such a grip on the UK music industry? I remember a time when to go to a gig or a festival you went to the venue or sent a postal order and your ticket arrived and you PAID THE PRICE ON THE TICKET. I remeber a trip to the Lyceum to buy my ticket for The Smiths in the eighties that was a day out on it's own and my reward was the greatest gig of my life, or was it The Bunymen at the Albert Hall? Anyway I digress I paid the price that the promotor intended, I bought a T-shirt drunk a litre of snake bite and didn't need to sell my Gran to afford it. Now, if I was stupid enough to leave it too late or decide at the last minute that I fancied a night out I took my chances and paid over the odds to a tout up the road from the venue on the night.

Fast forward if you will to this weeks release of Reading Festival Tickets. I now have a 21 year old son who his hoping to make his 3rd trip to Reading with his girlfriend who he met at Reading and my 15 year old son keen for his first festival experience. You know whats coming next, official site, sold out in minutes, HMV sold out in minutes. However as if by magic over 600 3 night camping tickets appeared on E-Bay within hours of the tickets going on sale. Desperate people are paying up to 3 times the face value, wankers!

This con must be stopped you idiots must stop caving in and paying con men enough money to go out and buy up the next lot of tickets you want. You are feeding their nasty lifestyles and they are robbing you blind. STOP IT NOW!!

Promoters: Do something about it, control the sale of tickets, use your imagination you are negligent in your lack of efforts where this kind of nonsense goes on. People are paying you face value to sell your tickets on for twice the price. Charge a bit extra and make sure the person that buys the ticket goes to the gig. Shame on you!

E-Bay: You are complicit in fraud. Most tickets say not to be sold for more than face value. I have enough evidence to sue your arses off if I had the financial backing. Get some backbone and refuse to sell concert tickets for more than face value. You are a fucking disgrace.

Public: Just stop it, what are you thinking? Tell your friends, refuse to comply, do not offer any more than face value to these parasites. Spread the word, give music back to the people who just want to go and enjoy it without lining some lazy, greasy ner-do-well stay press pockets. Fagin had more integrity than these arse wipes. If you miss out on the odd gig, so what. REFUSE TO PAY ANYONE MORE THAN FACE VALUE AND START NOW!

Johnny Rotten did not enrich all our lives for us to stand back and cave in to the internet machine and the evil that is E-Bay. Sid Vicious didn't wave his gun and belt out "My Way" because he liked Old Blue Eyes. He really did it "His Way" and for a tenner you could stand and be gobbed at, real value for money. I would like to lock E-Bay member ticketstogigs and his £300 Reading tickets in a room with Sid, Nancy and a loaded gun and let him try and convince them that what he's doing is anti establishment.

"Anarchay at the E-Bay" (not great I know but you get the point!)